As of this year, pandas were reclassified as a vulnerable species. The panda is a bear native to ancient China. Deforestation and other human developments have driven the Panda out of the mountains where they lived wild, and made there numbers drastically drop. It is estimated that there are less than 2,000 wild Panda left in the world. Only about 50 are held in captivity such as zoos.
Humans have left a terrible mark on the Pandas existence. We have poached them for their pelts and literally destroyed their ancient homes. All of this has left the panda on an unsteady slope of existence, but the panda has not helped itself either.
Humans have left a terrible mark on the Pandas existence. We have poached them for their pelts and literally destroyed their ancient homes. All of this has left the panda on an unsteady slope of existence, but the panda has not helped itself either.
The panda is a carnivorous bear. That means that it eats meat to survive. Its biological make up exists to digest meat, but the only thing a panda eats is bamboo.
Bamboo, a giant woody grass that grows chiefly in the tropics. Basically a super thick grass. No meat. No animal products. Nothing nutritious for it. It gains nothing from eating bamboo, but their primary diet consists of bamboo.
Because the panda eats a strictly vegetarian diet, and it cannot digest bamboo, it poops it straight out. A panda will poop forty times a day without gaining any benefits from the bamboo it eats.
Speaking of poop, the only other thing, aside from bamboo, that a panda will eat is its mothers poop. They need a specific bacteria that is in their mothers poop.
Okay, okay. We have established that all the pandas do is eat bamboo and poop it out. Guess that's not too terrible since they are still able to survive off their stupid diet.
Surviving is nice and all, but passing on your genes to the next generation is a part of every living things biological code. Except for the panda. They do not believe in offspring.
The panda is not a social creature. A panda will keep to itself and fend off others from their territory. They tend to not be afraid of anything or anyone, and periodically get annoyed by anything around them. All of that is fine, if they did not need to interact with others in order to procreate.
Pandas in captivity, and most in the wild, do not have a sex drive. They are not attracted to other panda. There is a 3 month mating period in which pandas may conceive children. During this time, all a panda will do is eat bamboo, and then promptly poop it out. Also during this time, humans will do everything in their power to help the pandas conceive. Quite often this will include giving the male panda sildenafil pills and showing videos of mating pandas.
Viagra and panda porn.
Viagra. Panda porn.
Still, nothing. A panda conception in captivity is truly a miracle.
Actually a pandas existence is truly a miracle. They survive by sitting around all day and eating the one thing that they cannot digest. Then they poop and repeat. Perhaps they do not want to exist. One thing is for certain though, they do not want a future generation to have to exist.
So uh, yeah, pandas are useless and illogical but half the world loves them and wants them to thrive.
Speaking of poop, the only other thing, aside from bamboo, that a panda will eat is its mothers poop. They need a specific bacteria that is in their mothers poop.
Okay, okay. We have established that all the pandas do is eat bamboo and poop it out. Guess that's not too terrible since they are still able to survive off their stupid diet.
Surviving is nice and all, but passing on your genes to the next generation is a part of every living things biological code. Except for the panda. They do not believe in offspring.
The panda is not a social creature. A panda will keep to itself and fend off others from their territory. They tend to not be afraid of anything or anyone, and periodically get annoyed by anything around them. All of that is fine, if they did not need to interact with others in order to procreate.
Pandas in captivity, and most in the wild, do not have a sex drive. They are not attracted to other panda. There is a 3 month mating period in which pandas may conceive children. During this time, all a panda will do is eat bamboo, and then promptly poop it out. Also during this time, humans will do everything in their power to help the pandas conceive. Quite often this will include giving the male panda sildenafil pills and showing videos of mating pandas.
Viagra and panda porn.
Viagra. Panda porn.
Still, nothing. A panda conception in captivity is truly a miracle.
Actually a pandas existence is truly a miracle. They survive by sitting around all day and eating the one thing that they cannot digest. Then they poop and repeat. Perhaps they do not want to exist. One thing is for certain though, they do not want a future generation to have to exist.
So uh, yeah, pandas are useless and illogical but half the world loves them and wants them to thrive.
Great entry! I've often wondered if Pandas are one of those critters that evolution left behind and were perhaps meant to go extinct. I mean, why would an animal that is naturally carnivorous eat only a largely non nutritious plant like bamboo? It makes no sense evolutionarily speaking.
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